Author Archive

Jan
18

Spot Check Your Conscious Awareness

Posted by: | Comments (0)

To become a conscious human being requires becoming aware of what you are doing, how you are feeling, and the thoughts you are creating moment to moment.  This level of conscious awareness goes hand-in-hand with “being present” or “in the moment.”

Conscious awareness is important because your thoughts and feelings spiral out and create your reality.  Ideally, awareness of yourself in each moment supports you to consciously create more of what you want in life rather than what you don’t want.

When you are wrapped up in a task that takes all of your focus and attention, you are truly living in the moment.  This could mean anything from working, to concentrating on your taxes, to being in the arms of your beloved, to a creative endeavor that you are so engrossed in that time seems to fly – three hours go by in what seems like three minutes.

For the rest of the time, it’s easy to drift along and allow our thoughts to go in a direction that is a far cry from what it looks like our attention is on in the moment.  We ruminate on the past or think about what we need to accomplish in the future or how it might unfold.

As multi-taskers, we can drive our car while listening to the radio and with our thoughts relive an argument we had yesterday, feel the anger again and worry about how the conversation will go tomorrow.  That’s typical, but mental and emotional distractions like these can interfere with our current focus, like driving, and we might narrowly miss getting in a car wreck.  Or, end up having no quiet time in our thinking to allow inspiration to bubble up or for the solution of a problem to emerge, because our thoughts are running amuck.

When self-awareness is lacking, we are more likely to haphazardly create our reality or something consciously undesirable or maybe even a disaster.  Furthermore, we are unable to connect with our inner power and utilize all of our inner resources, when our attention is momentarily aimlessly directed.

How can we become more present in our daily lives — while driving, waiting in line at the grocery store or bank, while cooking or exercising?  Well, we can increase our level of consciousness by becoming more personally aware.

3 Strategies to Spot Check Your Conscious Awareness

The strategies that follow are useful to bring your attention to your inner world, which reflects your level of consciousness.  Utilize all or one technique, depending upon your circumstances, to rapidly achieve a higher level of consciousness.

  1. Notice Inner Stress - Are you feeling stressed? What kinds of thoughts are circling your brain? What is the emotion associated with the thoughts?  Ask yourself:  Are these thoughts true? Are they helpful? Give yourself a counteracting positive belief to neutralize an undesirable thought.
  1. Focus on Body Sensations Focus in on a place in your body where an uncomfortable sensation, thought or feeling resides. Instead of being angry at or resenting this sensation, send it love. Ask this body part, thought or emotion if it has a message for you. Get quiet and listen for the answer.
  1. Ground Yourself Energetically - Close your eyes, place your hand on your heart and consciously breathe into it. Imagine putting a grounding cord down from the base of your spine all the way into the center of the planet. Tell yourself to release anything that’s not serving you down into the cord. Now imagine that everything is perfect in this moment as you envision that cord shooting right up into the cosmos as it stays connected below.

By nature, becoming more self-aware encompasses the state of being present with what you are doing, feeling and thinking in each moment.  When we consciously monitor ourselves in this way, we do not allow the outside world to upset our inside world.  Events don’t “run” us, we “run” them.  Rather than being in a stressed state, we can step back and be in the observer mode, a higher level of consciousness, and only then can we recognize what the moment truly brings us.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah Lindholm works with individuals ready to move beyond the fear, confusion or doubt that holds them back, by learning to work with their inner awareness and inner power and apply that deep inner wisdom in their life where it counts. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at www.serenitymatters.com

Categories : Announcements
Comments (0)
Jan
02

The Power of Your Intentions

Posted by: | Comments (0)

This is the time of year people make well-meaning goals for themselves about what they “should” do – lose the weight, sip green drinks with flax seeds, and get in shape.  The gyms fill up, irritating the regulars.  But by February the gym is emptied of new members and things are back to normal.

That’s the way it goes with New Year’s resolutions.  Resolutions often don’t work because people are concentrating on their negative traits, asking “What’s wrong with me?” and “How can I fix it?” Resolutions can be associated with denying oneself pleasure and suffering to get results.  It’s almost as if you were “bad” last year and you punish yourself — at least until you slack off – then you receive the added bonus of feeling even worse now that you’re a failure too.

There is an easier, gentler and more effective way to go – by using the power of intentions every day – not just at the start of the year.  Intentions can be used for each situation you encounter.  You can wake up in the morning and have an intention for your day: “I intend to accomplish my tasks with joy, ease and grace.”  Or set an intention before you walk into a meeting about the desired outcome, how you want to feel, or that all hearts will align for the highest good.

Intentions are propelled by the momentum of renewal and flow.  They change as you grow because they are predicated on taking your emotional temperature.  A good question to ask is “How do I want to feel in this situation?”

Exercise: Setting Intentions

As you go about your days this week, practice setting intentions: Think of how you will feel and what a difference it will make in your life.  You can set intentions for:

  • The entire day
  • Phone calls with clients
  • Meetings or client sessions at work
  • Your exercise routine
  • Dinnertime with the kids
  • Exchanges with your spouse
  • Homework time
  • Personal projects or special events

Just thinking about the desired outcome makes you feel uplifted, and it’s possible to make an overarching intention for your life, such as “I am healthy, loving, prosperous and joyful.”

Keep your intentions evolving and notice when they don’t motivate you anymore.  As you use this tool, you’ll find you may achieve the desired outcome, but you might not feel the way you want to — there’s a missing element.  You’ll always need to modify, deepen or change intentions entirely as you grow.  Say you achieved your money goal but you’re exhausted.  Your next intention may be that your work will seem like play.  And when you add concepts such as “happy surprises,” you leave room for something good to happen outside the realm of what you can conceive.

Exercise:  Expanding Your World with Intentions

The more you set intentions, the more you are consciously co-creating your life.  To further reinforce this, make lists of intentions and be sure to check them off.

Every day congratulate yourself for what you accomplished.  At times, a celebration may even be in order.

Read client testimonials or thank you cards over and over.  Really take in the words and be aware of the powerful and positive contribution you are making.

By the same token, give recognition to others when they do something notable, and speak from your heart.  Not many people notice and comment on others’ attributes, so it takes some courage.  Think back to things people have said about you and notice how it gave you confidence.  As you do that for others, you are creating a positive intention for them, and a ripple effect of kindness that can change the world as you know it.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? ? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah Lindholm works with individuals ready to move beyond the fear, confusion or doubt that holds them back, by learning to work with their inner awareness and inner power and apply that deep inner wisdom in their life where it counts. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at www.serenitymatters.com

Dec
21

How to Handle Your Regrets

Posted by: | Comments (0)

We often label our past decisions, situations and experiences as either “good” or “bad” and those judgments are sometimes related to what we regret.

Imagine going through life and finding the balance between two opposing decisions rather than having regrets or judgments about them later on.  Whether they’re in the past or present, balance can be achieved by bringing your conscious awareness to the situations.

As you tap into your consciousness, you’re able to stand in the middle and see the totality of a situation.  Circumstances can then be seen with appreciation for everything — even events or actions at opposite ends of the spectrum.

When you see clearly that one choice, which perhaps seemed “bad,” but led to something you deemed “good,” you begin to appreciate how “good” and “bad” can become “it just is.”  And, this takes the sting out of it, helping relieve the regret over choosing one course of action over another.

As adults, we know that most things in life can have an upside and a downside.  When you buy a house, perhaps you want a place to start a family, a home you can remodel any way you like, or a refuge of privacy and quiet.  The downside includes major repairs, finding your tax bill in the mailbox, or watching your property values plummet.  When you take responsibility for these downsides before you buy the home, you accept them with equanimity when they appear.  Because your view of the situation is balanced, the result is that you have less regrets and
“it just is.”

What do you do though when you have past regrets or you’re not at peace with “it just is” or you haven’t adopted a balanced perspective for a current decision you’re facing?

Clear Out Old Regrets – It’s a good idea to first look back at the past with an expanded perspective and appreciation.

Take a piece of paper or your notebook. Write out at the top of the page, “What Do I Regret in My Life?” Now answer these questions as honestly as you can:

  • Who did I think I would “be” by now?
  • What did I think I could do?
  • What did I think my life would be like?
  • Where have I made mistakes?
  • How have I failed?

Then start a fresh sheet of paper and consider these questions:

  • What have I learned from this choice?
  • How has this experience served me?
  • Where has this decision enriched my life?
  • What gifts came out of this experience?
  • How do I love myself in this situation?

Choose Your Regrets with Awareness – If you’re wrestling with a current situation, then consciously choose your regrets. This is a by-product of the well-known process of weighing the pros and cons of a decision.

Imagine that you could propel yourself forward in time and look back at your choice. Which decision would you regret more?  How would you, for example, choose your regrets with the following circumstances?

  • Taking a job that gives you more time with your family but pays less
  • Deciding whether to have another child
  • Moving to be near grown children and grandchildren
  • Getting a divorce
  • Going back to school
  • Starting your own business

Now answer the following questions for any major decisions that you’re now facing:

  • What are the upsides to your choice?
  • How would your life change?
  • What would you be gaining?
  • What are the downsides?
  • What would you be giving up?
  • How would you make peace ahead of time with yourself?

As you choose your regrets with awareness, you’ll no longer torture yourself by believing you did something stupid or made an unredeemable error.  When it comes to the big decisions in your life, make a commitment to stand by all of your choices.

By looking at each of your decisions straight in the eye, accepting the joys and the challenges, you’ll find your own state of balance before you even embark on any new journey. Regrets will be few as you accept and appreciate what “is” along the way.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? ? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah Lindholm works with individuals ready to move beyond the fear, confusion or doubt that holds them back, by learning to work with their inner awareness and inner power and apply that deep inner wisdom in their life where it counts. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at www.serenitymatters.com

Comments (0)
Nov
27

Be Thankful for Who You are Right Now

Posted by: | Comments (0)

The Thanksgiving holiday offers opportunities to reflect on what we are grateful for in our lives.  Many times this means other people – our spouse or partner, our children, our friends and neighbors, and the coworkers and clients who matter to us.

As we find ourselves doing special things with others and for others this holiday season, it opens up a space for loving feelings for ourselves as well.  Coming from a space of gratitude and open-heartedness for the people in our lives makes it easier to find compassion, love and acceptance for ourselves.  In a perfect cycle, we are continually enriched and nourished by this circle of loving kindness.

During the holidays, if you find yourself out of sorts and in a phase where extra forgiveness or kindness for yourself is necessary, here’s a valuable exercise:

Practice Unconditional Love for Yourself

Close your eyes and imagine you are cradling yourself in your arms and loving yourself just the way you would love an innocent, beautiful baby, or your “fur baby” pet.  Direct that love at that baby – yourself — in your arms and let that love come from your heart, wash over and encapsulate you.

To everything there is a season . . .

Have you ever gazed at a bare tree in the wintertime at dusk – really seeing it?  Even though the leaves are gone, the stark black branches look achingly beautiful against the pink and orange sky.  Perhaps you love fall foliage and aren’t looking forward to winter.  Maybe you’d rather enjoy spring blossoms on the tree or lie under its shade in the heat of the summer.  Still, you’re appreciating and loving that tree just the way it is, and you’re aware of that unique moment in time.  No matter what the season, the beauty of the experience still infuses you with loving feelings.

The same can be said for yourself – there is beauty and appreciation to be had whether you’re in the summer, autumn or winter of your life.

When you have gratitude for the place you have reached and there is no resistance, no “buts,” no second-guessing, simply total acceptance for your life and the paths you’ve taken – then you are able to go forward with nothing stopping you.

Appreciate and Be Thankful for Who You are Right Now

Like the rings on a tree that record the growth of the tree over time, we too are always personally growing in ways that may or may not be visible to us.  It can be beneficial to acknowledge how we have changed and grown from time to time.

By bringing all the parts of you up to date with who you are now, you will be able to unconditionally love and appreciate yourself more as you move into the new year – with no baggage, regrets or negative feelings.  Take a moment to ponder how you are different now from last Thanksgiving or from five years ago.

Get out some paper and a pen or start a Thanksgiving Journal that year after year you record your self-acknowledgments in a visible record of the “rings in your tree.”  Really take some private, loving time for yourself to answer the following questions truthfully and thoughtfully.

Ask yourself these questions and keep the focus on how you’ve grown or are growing now. If something comes up that was a rough patch or is causing you stress, consider how the experience was of benefit to you or how it’s helping you to personally grow now.

“Who do I know myself to be right now in all of my relationships – with my spouse or partner, family, friends, co-workers, clients, customers and my community?”

“What roles do I play in my relationships and how do I add comfort, ease and joy to the lives of others and make a difference?”

“What commitments, big and small, have I made and how do I honor them with joy and a generosity of spirit?”

“What have I done that has positively affected the overall quality of my life, my whole being, the state of my health, my career and my finances?”

“Where have I put my focus that has made a noticeable difference for me personally or for someone or something else?”

Just as you admired the tree in winter, you’ll likely find you are grateful for challenges that stretched you or showed you how powerful you are.  You’ll see how well you’ve done in your life emotionally and spiritually.  And you’ll find compassion for yourself with the realization that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.  Only from this place of being thankful for who you are can you move into a place of even greater love, self-acceptance, gratitude and joy.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? ? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah Lindholm works with individuals ready to move beyond the fear, confusion or doubt that holds them back, by learning to work with their inner awareness and inner power and apply that deep inner wisdom in their life where it counts.

Categories : Announcements
Comments (0)
Nov
26

Be Thankful for Who You are Right Now

Posted by: | Comments (0)

The Thanksgiving holiday offers opportunities to reflect on what we are grateful for in our lives.  Many times this means other people – our spouse or partner, our children, our friends and neighbors, and the coworkers and clients who matter to us.

As we find ourselves doing special things with others and for others this holiday season, it opens up a space for loving feelings for ourselves as well.  Coming from a space of gratitude and open-heartedness for the people in our lives makes it easier to find compassion, love and acceptance for ourselves.  In a perfect cycle, we are continually enriched and nourished by this circle of loving kindness.

During the holidays, if you find yourself out of sorts and in a phase where extra forgiveness or kindness for yourself is necessary, here’s a valuable exercise:

Practice Unconditional Love for Yourself

Close your eyes and imagine you are cradling yourself in your arms and loving yourself just the way you would love an innocent, beautiful baby, or your “fur baby” pet.  Direct that love at that baby – yourself — in your arms and let that love come from your heart, wash over and encapsulate you.

To everything there is a season . . .

Have you ever gazed at a bare tree in the wintertime at dusk – really seeing it?  Even though the leaves are gone, the stark black branches look achingly beautiful against the pink and orange sky.  Perhaps you love fall foliage and aren’t looking forward to winter.  Maybe you’d rather enjoy spring blossoms on the tree or lie under its shade in the heat of the summer.  Still, you’re appreciating and loving that tree just the way it is, and you’re aware of that unique moment in time.  No matter what the season, the beauty of the experience still infuses you with loving feelings.

The same can be said for yourself – there is beauty and appreciation to be had whether you’re in the summer, autumn or winter of your life.

When you have gratitude for the place you have reached and there is no resistance, no “buts,” no second-guessing, simply total acceptance for your life and the paths you’ve taken – then you are able to go forward with nothing stopping you.

Appreciate and Be Thankful for Who You are Right Now

Like the rings on a tree that record the growth of the tree over time, we too are always personally growing in ways that may or may not be visible to us.  It can be beneficial to acknowledge how we have changed and grown from time to time.

By bringing all the parts of you up to date with who you are now, you will be able to unconditionally love and appreciate yourself more as you move into the new year – with no baggage, regrets or negative feelings.  Take a moment to ponder how you are different now from last Thanksgiving or from five years ago.

Get out some paper and a pen or start a Thanksgiving Journal that year after year you record your self-acknowledgments in a visible record of the “rings in your tree.”  Really take some private, loving time for yourself to answer the following questions truthfully and thoughtfully.

Ask yourself these questions and keep the focus on how you’ve grown or are growing now. If something comes up that was a rough patch or is causing you stress, consider how the experience was of benefit to you or how it’s helping you to personally grow now.

“Who do I know myself to be right now in all of my relationships – with my spouse or partner, family, friends, co-workers, clients, customers and my community?”

“What roles do I play in my relationships and how do I add comfort, ease and joy to the lives of others and make a difference?”

“What commitments, big and small, have I made and how do I honor them with joy and a generosity of spirit?”

“What have I done that has positively affected the overall quality of my life, my whole being, the state of my health, my career and my finances?”

“Where have I put my focus that has made a noticeable difference for me personally or for someone or something else?”

Just as you admired the tree in winter, you’ll likely find you are grateful for challenges that stretched you or showed you how powerful you are.  You’ll see how well you’ve done in your life emotionally and spiritually.  And you’ll find compassion for yourself with the realization that you did the best you could with what you knew at the time.  Only from this place of being thankful for who you are can you move into a place of even greater love, self-acceptance, gratitude and joy.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? ? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah Lindholm works with individuals ready to move beyond the fear, confusion or doubt that holds them back, by learning to work with their inner awareness and inner power and apply that deep inner wisdom in their life where it counts.

Categories : Health & Well-Being
Comments (0)

Disclaimer

As always, please consult with qualified health professionals before putting session or workshop ideas into practice. The ideas and techniques are not meant to diagnose or replace the need for medical attention or professional mental health care.

Please Click to View
Serenity Matters, LLC Terms & Conditions

Find Serenity Matters Online