Archive for Empowerment


Becoming Complaint Free

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What Are You Complaining About?

Ever pay attention to what your complaints are? Ever try to go complaint free?  Complaints are by and large a symptom of unhappiness.  Encarta defines them as:

- statement of unhappiness: a statement expressing discontent or unhappiness about
a situation

- If you have any complaints, talk to the manager.

- something making somebody unhappy: something that makes somebody
discontented or unhappy

Are You Unhappy?

Sometimes we go about life completely unaware of how profoundly unhappy we are.  We manage the day to day tasks and we’re so totally busy that we don’t even pause to evaluate if we’re happy, content or peaceful.

If we were to pause and take an honest look at our state of serenity and explore whether we’re on the right path, then the answer would probably be fairly obvious.  A great way to make a quick assessment is to explore what you’re complaining about.

What do you constantly complain about?

Very few things are completely perfect.  You can have a splendid day and still get a flat tire.  You can be living your ideal life and still get a pounding headache.  Things happen. Occasional complaints are normal and how you handle them and respond to them are indications of whether you’re on the right path.

Complaints that are chronic and recurring are the external result of internal discontent.  So real quick, think about what you’re complaining about?  Do you find that the complaints are all related to a common theme or a few common themes?

The great news is that by simply taking a look at what you’re complaining about, you can see where you need to make changes.

For example, if you find that you’re often complaining about your boss then you know that it’s time to do some work around your relationship with this person, or perhaps about your career.  Maybe you vent about your boss, but your career is unfulfilling and your boss is simply an easy target.

Turning Complaints Into Positive Action

Complaints are by their very nature negative.  They’re chock full of negative energy and they draw more negative energy to them.  So if you’re complaining regularly about your health, well guess what…your health isn’t going to get better because you’re drawing more ill health to you.

However because they are easy to recognize, complaints can also be a powerful source of opportunity.  Every time you complain you can stop, think about it, and do some internal evaluation.  Eventually, you’ll be able to stop and turn your complaint into a positive statement and draw what you want to you rather than more unpleasantness into your life.

Becoming Complaint Free

The Rev. Will Bowen, author of A Complaint Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life You Always Wanted challenged his congregation to live complaint free.  In order to help them remember to stop complaints before they speak they wear a purple bracelet.  Every time they complained they were to remove the bracelet or switch it to their other wrist – the goal being to go complaint free for 21 days straight.

Recognizing your complaints can help you to eventually live a serene and complaint free life.  Take a look at what you’re complaining about, use it to get back on track living the life you want and start living a complaint free life today.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah and Michael Lindholm are co-owners of Serenity Matters, LLC. They are dedicated to empowering clients and students with the Serenity Vibration Healing® tools. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at

Categories : Empowerment, SVH®
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To be disempowered in your relationship means that you allow your partner to have more control over your life and circumstances than you exercise. You give up your power in favor of him or her and you end up feeling confused, helpless and hopeless. This can take place over time and happen without your conscious awareness.

The most extreme disempowerment comes about in cases of domestic violence or verbal and emotional abuse. In these cases, safety has to be the main concern and seeking professional guidance and the assistance of authorities is warranted.

Even under less severe circumstances, when a person enters into a romantic relationship or gets married, unknown triggers can go off within their psyche and change everything. In this context, triggers refer to situations, events, memories or even words and body language that cause an individual to act differently in a relationship. The triggers change how the person would normally behave under other circumstances outside of the relationship.

When we initially act differently towards and around our partner than our usual nature, things can get complicated in the relationship later on. At first, we might make seemingly small concessions in the spirit of compromise or to please our partner. However if we continue doing this, expectations get cemented in about who we are and resentment can occur within our partner when we attempt to be our authentic self. Feelings of being trapped can set in on our part.

Take notice that you may be disempowered in your relationship if any of the following sounds familiar:

  • You deny your true feelings, beliefs and desires
  • It’s nearly always about what he/she wants
  • You’re not who you used to be
  • You think this as good as it gets
  • You hide purchases of products and services
  • He/she doesn’t know your best friends or you have none
  • You are afraid to make a change

The root cause of the changes in our behavior and attitudes may stem from how we believe we are supposed to act in a committed relationship. There can be a tendency to subconsciously repeat the behaviors we observed in our family of origin and we aren’t even aware that we’re doing this.

If you’ve ever thought that you or your partner act like your mother or father, that’s a clue. You may want to look at this and evaluate whether or not taking on the behaviors of your parents in your own relationship works for you.

Even if your self-esteem and self-confidence are intact prior to entering into your relationship or marriage, you may find that this changes when you alter who you are even in small ways for someone else. It may seem easy to do in the beginning, but it really is unhealthy for you and your partner in the long run.

Ultimately we feel the stress of having to maintain our facade of happiness or we start to slip and can no longer maintain whatever it is that we’ve been allowing in the relationship that goes against our true self. Unhappiness and dissatisfaction can become the norm accompanied by aggressive or passive behaviors on our part. If this happens, being honest with your partner about your true feelings gives both of you a chance to re-evaluate the relationship and how you relate to each other when you are being authentic.

Realistically, your partner may be unable to accept you or alter their behavior to accommodate you or be authentic themselves. Obviously, you both have the option to stay in the relationship or leave.

None of this is easy, but the price to pay for keeping things as they are when you are in a disempowered relationship is high. You risk losing your sense of self and that always leads to a vicious cycle of suffering and more disempowered feelings.

If this discussion brought up any feelings of unease within you or curiosity about the subject matter, please listen to the 10 minute recording below. It is my gift to you – an exercise that engages your conscious mind, your subconscious mind, your Higher Self and the Creator to assist you in clearing away whatever within you is allowing yourself to attract disempowering relationships or become disempowered within a relationship.

Right click the link below and save the audio file to your computer,
or click the link to listen online.

Your Relationship Clearing

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah and Michael Lindholm are co-owners of Serenity Matters, LLC. They are dedicated to empowering clients and students with the Serenity Vibration Healing® tools. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at

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Free Yourself from Fear Fast!

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Fearless Fridays Telesummit

Deborah Lindholm will be conducting a FREE program that is designed to Free You From Fear Fast! And, you’ll be able to do it right on the call – transform fear so it no longer holds you back! Join Deborah on March 19th at 5 pm EST. If  you can’t make the live event, listen in later to the recording. This is your ticket to benefit in real time, right there on the spot. In the program, you will:

• Get the scoop on the 3 sources of fear that will surprise you and make you say, “Ahaa!” and never feel like you have to live with any limiting fear again.
• Discover your giant inner file that fears hide in; how this file acts like it owns you and what to do when it’s up to its old tricks.
• Tap into the 3 levels of consciousness everyone can access and use them to get clear and focused and free yourself from fear in a jiffy.
• Learn about the fastest way to speed up the release of fears so that nothing within you ever has the power to hold you back!
• And, much more…including free gifts and special offers!

To register for this program and learn about the other 30 experts lined up by Sophfronia Scott for The Fearless Fridays Telesummit, please go to

Together, let’s spring forward and get rid of fear fast!

Everyone in life gets angry at some point unless you are a self-realized master. This can happen with important situations and everyday kinds of things – we get cut off in traffic, someone doesn’t return our phone call, we get laid off from our job, the children are fussy or your husband is watching the news when you could really use his help. Sometimes all it takes is a look from someone or the tone of their voice or use of a particular word and suddenly we’re barking back at them or seething inside. And, later we might feel confused by our reaction even if we acknowledge it or feel it is justified.

Our minds can race with thoughts of downright anger or even revenge as we feel our blood pressure rise. This rise in blood pressure then in turn takes over and any calmness we were feeling goes right out the window. This kind of stressor in the form of anger can be a contributing factor toward depression, heart condition and much more in between. There are times we just don’t want to let it go and others where we don’t know how. Read More→

Categories : Empowerment
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Choose Personal Empowerment

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5 Tips for More Fulfillment

An empowering and fulfilling life is what we all strive for. However for many of us, it’s difficult to achieve. Where do you start? What priorities do you set? How do you attain the life you long for, the life you deserve?

Rest assured attaining fulfillment is possible. Begin your path towards personal empowerment with these five simple steps.

#1 Modify your thoughts. One of the most powerful steps towards leading a fulfilling life is to focus on the positive. This means eliminating, or at least significantly reducing that negative self-talk we all participate in from time to time.

Positive self-talk, respecting yourself and embracing your strengths and weaknesses as part of the beautiful and unique you, is the beginning to living an empowered and fulfilling life.

#2 Understand that you’re a complete being. Physical health, mental and emotional health and even spiritual health are all intricately woven to create the wholeness of you. When any one of these is out of balance your entire being is out of balance. For example if you are depressed, your physical health may be affected due to a lack of sleep. If you are stressed, you may feel it physically in the form of a headache or muscle tension and maybe you anger easily. If you lack faith and confidence in your spiritual self, then perhaps you are prone to feelings of hopelessness or apathy and physically you are lethargic.

To achieve fulfillment, strive to balance all areas of your being. Work for good physical health, seek spiritual guidance, reframe a negative mindset and clear emotions that are limiting you from living a complete and balanced life.

#3 Practice personal care. Putting yourself first and foremost on your to do list isn’t a selfish act, it’s actually a very selfless act. If you’re not happy and fulfilled, those around you will not be getting the best from you. If you want to live a fulfilled and balanced life, begin by setting aside time every day to take care of yourself.

Meditate, walk or do some sort of physical exercise, eat for health, laugh, pray if that brings you spiritual contentment, read a good book, listen to your favorite music, snuggle with your dog, hold your cat while she purrs, buy yourself some flowers, dab on your favorite essential oil, take a bubble bath or get a massage. Little bits of self care can go a long way toward personal empowerment and fulfillment.

#4 Learn something new. Chances are there is a list of things you want to do and learn. Perhaps it is to hike the Appalachian Trail or travel to Egypt or maybe it is something like learning a foreign language, how to knit, cook Mexican food, ballroom dance, or better money management strategies. Life is exciting and powerful when we’re engaged in it and learning something new is a great way to become engaged and empowered.

#5 Set and achieve goals. Something almost magical happens inside when you achieve a goal you’ve set for yourself. It fills you with pride and confidence and sets you on the path toward future success. The key to success when achieving goals is to set challenging yet attainable goals. For example if you want to start and own your own business, set smaller goals like taking a business planning course. Once you achieve that then you’ll set another smaller goal, all on the path toward achieving your single long term goal of starting a business.

The path to personal empowerment begins with making a choice to pursue it. From that point on, smaller steps to change the way you think and approach life will have the largest impact on your fulfillment.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

WANT TO USE THIS ARTICLE IN YOUR E-ZINE OR WEBSITE? You can, but you must include the following resource information in its entirety: Deborah and Michael Lindholm are co-owners of Serenity Matters, LLC. They are dedicated to empowering clients and students with the Serenity Vibration Healing® tools. If  you’re ready to awaken your inner power and surge forward in your life, get your FREE tips at

Categories : Empowerment
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As always, please consult with qualified health professionals before putting session or workshop ideas into practice. The ideas and techniques are not meant to diagnose or replace the need for medical attention or professional mental health care.

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