Put Yourself in Time Out

During the holiday season, there’s one thing that a lot of women fear running out of – it’s time. We begin to wonder with good reason how we will get everything done in time for the holidays.

It’s easy to feel overwhelm as more activities and responsibilities are added to our already busy schedule. Time is valuable and we all have the same amount of time given to us daily upon awakening – 24 hours. The challenge comes as we try to figure out how to use our time effectively.

We cannot control everything and everyone. The children get sick, the weather gets nasty, the car breaks down, the lines at the store are long and other things happen that are out of our control.

We cannot control other people and we cannot control their behavior and reactions. However we can control our own behaviors, reactions and energy. We can move out of overwhelm and into serenity within a few moments if we give ourselves regular and brief time outs.

Take a page from the playbook of many parents and teachers. With some modifications as a grown-up☺, you can use time outs to decrease or eliminate feelings of overwhelm and calm down your own inner-child.

Notice the signs. Think about the warning signs that pop up when you begin to feel overwhelmed, because this is when you need a time out the most. Maybe your mood changes to grouchy, you become forgetful, eat junk food, lock your keys in the car, the cookies burn in the oven or any number of things go wrong. Make a list of the typical symptoms of overwhelm that plague you and keep the list handy.

Pick a place. Decide ahead of time where you’d like to go for your time out. Choose an area that is away from others and different from where you spend most of your time working or completing responsibilities. You may want to pick a place for time out at home and one at work.

Set a time limit. Know in advance how long you want to spend in time out and devise a way to let yourself know when the time is over. In the beginning, use a timer or put your cell phone on vibrate and set the alarm to alert you when the time is up. After a little practice, you’ll sense when the time is up. The length of time may vary according to your needs in the moment and whether you are at home or at work.

Calm yourself. To begin your time out, focus on breathing in slowly through your nose. Place your hand on your belly during the deep breathing. Fill up the lower part of the lungs first while you feel your abdomen expand. Hold the breath for the count of 8 and then expel through your mouth with a big “Haaaa.” Pause 8 seconds between breaths. After 2 or 3 breaths, place your hand over your heart and breathe normally. Close your eyes and imagine how you want something relatively minor in your life to be or unfold. After holding your vision and upon completion of the time out, mentally say, “I claim my realm.”

Take a time out as soon as possible when you notice undesirable behaviors or inappropriate reactions within yourself that accompany feelings of overwhelm. With regular brief time outs, you will be able to re-train yourself to feel longer periods of calm and serenity while you go about your day.

© Deborah A. Lindholm

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