Three Signs that You are Afraid of Your Power


The word power almost always conjures up images of power in the outside world. Power seems to be outer-directed; power dominates — having power over another, a situation, a corporation or geographic areas or populations.

However, we often forget that personal power has nothing to do with domination.  Personal power is about being comfortable with yourself, being able to be as kind to yourself as you are to others, and speaking your mind rather than stuffing your thoughts or emotions.  Personal power feels good, it helps you get projects done with positive energy, it gives you courage, and it makes you strong and leads to leadership and finding your unique mission and purpose.

Often, there are signs in daily life that show us how we are blocking our personal power.  These signals can be small and subtle and they come from within, beckoning us to express our personal power.

The First Sign

The first sign that you are afraid of your own power is that you hold yourself back when you want to express something.  Perhaps you are afraid of being recognized or you sense that the wisdom is coming from a place deep inside – this is not any off-the cuff remark – it has real substance and it takes courage to put it out there.

You really get to know you were holding yourself back when someone else expresses the exact same statement you were going to say and they get all sorts of positive feedback for it.  People are actually in awe of it.

The First Remedy

What can you do to make yourself feel better and purge your disappointment when you know you’ve held yourself back?

Stream-of-consciousness writing helps clear the emotions and is very effective, but go a step further.  Practice writing with your non-dominant hand, letting whatever wants to come out flow onto the page.  This bypasses resistance so you can get to the root of what’s stopping you and then ease yourself out of this pattern of holding back.

Sign Number Two

You get an impulse or a fleeting idea, an impression of something to do or to take action on, or a precognition.  It’s nothing fearful; it’s more of a neutral “hit” or intuition. But you ignore it, and you don’t act on it.  Maybe it’s as simple as seeing a tablecloth on sale that you really want and you talk yourself out of it.  Later, at an impromptu party, it’s the perfect thing you could have used.

You find yourself saying, “Darn, I knew that,”  “I didn’t listen to myself” or “I should have done that.’

Remedy Number Two

It’s a little thing, so it’s a great opportunity to practice forgiveness.  You learned something from it, after all!  Say something such as, “I’ll be sure to listen next time.”  It’s important not to make a big deal out of it and condemn yourself.

Practicing forgiveness for ourselves is beneficial because if we can do it in the little things, we can do it in the bigger things.  Then there’s less baggage to take with us into future situations.  We can be clearer, and when we are operating in clarity, we achieve results – there are no dueling intentions, cross purposes and mixed messages.

The Third Sign

The third sign is that you’re not giving yourself enough credit for how connected you are to your inner awareness.  You’re lacking self-appreciation and recognition of the role your inner guidance plays all the time and you’re just not noticing it.

The Third Remedy

You are learning to follow your guidance and the prompting’s of your own heart.  This is not an exact science.  So give yourself credit and express gratitude to yourself.

A fun remedy is to make yourself a personal commercial about how wonderful you are.  A good time to do this is in the morning when you are brushing your teeth or hair.

Look in the mirror and say, “I appreciate everything about you.  I appreciate all that you are and your wise counsel.” We don’t really stop and appreciate ourselves enough.  So look yourself in the eyes and give yourself loving and meaningful messages for at least one minute.

When you become conscious of the signs that you are afraid of your inner power and then you apply the remedies, you’ll be allowing your inner power to shine through — and it has no choice but to magnificently reflect itself in the outer world.

© Deborah A. Lindholm


  1. junilei says:

    thank you.. i needed this

  2. jay says:

    thanks for this! this helped me tremendously!

  3. Deborah says:

    That’s great, Jay! Heart-centered, authentic personal power not only feels good, it’s felt by others and can be life-changing. Thanks for your feedback!

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As always, please consult with qualified health professionals before putting session or workshop ideas into practice. The ideas and techniques are not meant to diagnose or replace the need for medical attention or professional mental health care.

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